


The Aftermath

by Foreverwriting123



Series: Batman X Reader Series [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Genre: Bat fighting, Crime reporting, DC Extended Universe - Freeform, F/M, Harley Quinn - Freeform, Puddin' leads to some trouble, Split into 3 chapters, Suicide Squad Joker, Suicide Squad Joker and Harley, Upset Reader, upset bruce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-10 23:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7865803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreverwriting123/pseuds/Foreverwriting123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Bruce told you the truth, you left with a heavy head and a broken heart, unsure what to make of any of this chaos.<br/>Still dealing with the aftermath of being beaten and captured by an unknown gang, you struggle to cope with the suffocating nightmares that may be far more than just bad dreams, while Bruce is left wondering if he made the right choice as he deals with the aftermath of your fallout.</p><p>But as you both straight to head your separate ways, it seems in the end, no matter what happens or who comes between you, you will always be drawn to each other- even in ways that could destroy you both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am finally updating a new piece and will I tell you something, it was pretty stressful!!  
> It's my last week of summer so I have many things packed into one week and so writing has become a late night thing! 
> 
> But I am getting into it and I hope you see the effort put in- you see, I am a perfectionist at the best of times, and sometimes I struggle to keep up write Bruce like this, but it is pretty fun to experiment and see what will happen!
> 
> So I have to split this piece into two/three chapters as I am still working on the middle and the end!
> 
> And this is a gentle reminder that **next week I will back at school and I am in a very important exam year so I will be focussing on my studies for the next 9 months!!!**
> 
> ((So basically if someone asks for an update I will literally scream because I am kind of getting sick and tired of people asking straight away for an update- you do know writing does take a lot time!))
> 
> Anyways, enough ranting and such, but I do hope you enjoy this piece- chapter 2 will be up tonight or tomorrow! Feedback is appreciated and you can follow my writing tumblr at @/foreverwriting123 and I might post a few drabbles and such if I have the time during the school year ~~(that's if I have time this year!)~~
> 
> So I do hope you enjoy!! :D  
> Be prepared for more twists and turns and unexpected surprises!

You never expected anything like this to happen between you and Bruce. Never in your life did you ever imagine yourself walking out of his life.

But you do. And in the end, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, you had to leave. 

Bruce Wayne is not the man you thought he was; nor the Batman you ever imagined. But here you are drinking in an old bar in the outskirts of Gotham after dealing with the fact that you have justed slipped away from Bruce.

There was nothing sinister to your plan. At first when he told you, you didn’t know how to react. You’ve often dealt with recurring dilemmas of discovering something that could be potentially life-changing, but never something this big.

As you tossed and turned and finally opened your eyes, you couldn’t help but feel a weight on your chest. 

Straight away you knew that the entire setting seemed wrong. 

You couldn’t be sleeping here in his bed while he slept so peacefully beside you? He just told you the news that shaped him into someone else.

While you always loved the way his lip curled while he slept, you can’t help but feel now that that curl could mean something completely different. He could have it as he reminds himself of how his actions have changed countless of lives in Gotham 

No- you can’t think like that. Surely you, out of all people know you shouldn’t judge others for their actions….but this does feel different.

Bruce Wayne is Batman. 

Saying it leaves a chalky residue in your mouth while your heart race picks up. 

It doesn’t feel right; none of this feels right.

You have just sneaked off from Bruce’s glasshouse to cope with your trauma through drinking and you only left him a terribly written goodbye letter and a desperate last kiss on his forehead.

Thankfully he didn’t stir when you did it; it would have left with a lot more explaining and arguing to do. Something you were not prepared for.

So, for now, you siting a corner seating booth of an old residential bar which serves the tough biker men and naive blonde bombshells as you flick through your phone reading his text messages countless of times.

Who would have thought you had the guts in you to break up with Bruce Wayne in such a tragic fashion?

The smell of whiskey mixed with stale cigarette smoke coats the air but does not affect you as your head is not fixated on your third glass of rum and Coke.

You were never a heavy drinker, even after breakups. But tonight stands out the most as a definite game changer in your life, so the drink is necessary.

But while you feel the urge to literally drink your sorrows at 3:00am in an old biker bar, you also feel in the humour to vent to someone who might understand, which is why you called him.

Clark Kent seems like an out of place character in the bar, but that doesn’t stop him from ordering a glass of water while two large men glare at him up and down again and again to figure out why exactly he is here.

Once he fetches the cold refreshment, he spots you and heads over to your private booth not looking too impressed to say the least.

“Y/N you better tell me what’s going on right now or else I am leaving.”

You slouch forward and take a swig of your drink. “Oh hi Clark, that’s for coming. I’m sorry but this involves,” you whisper before you say it, along with dragging out your words, “complicated boyfriend drama.”

He rolls his eyes behind his thick black frames and then settles down to listen. He flares his nostrils and catches something off with you.

“Jesus Christ Y/N are you drunk?”

“What’s it to you?” You smirk before taking another sip from your glass. 

Clark though, doesn’t feel in the humour to associate with your drunken state. He huffs and crosses his arms before saying, “What do you want Y/N?”

“You never told me.”

Clark raises his eyebrow. “Tell you what?”

“That Bruce Wayne is-”

But Clark shushes you before you can say it. 

“Be quiet Y/N. We don’t want the whole bar to hear you.”

Now you stop and stare, stunned. “So you _actually knew_.”

Clark lowers down and makes sure the bartender is not listening as he continues to clean glasses and collect empty beer bottles from around the room. 

“Of course I knew Y/N… I eventually figured it out..”

“How?”

“That’s another conversation for another day.”

You frown, but don’t say furthermore.

Clark finally takes a sip from his water before he asks, “So, how do you find out?”

“Oh the usual. He took his dream girl to walk down memory lane to see his creepy old burnt down house and told me on the steps.”

He leans forward, to indicate _Go on._

“And at first, I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, for some strange reason, I suspected it after everything in the warehouse but when it finally came out, I just- I mean, I just still can’t get over it.”

“But why are you in a bar by yourself at this hour now?”

You blow out in frustration and grumble, “I had to leave Clark, I just had to. I couldn’t handle the fact I was in the bed of the thing I spend my job reporting.”

Clark coughs before saying the obvious. “But he still is human Y/N, no matter what you think. What is is going to be like when he wakes up?”

“To be honest, I don’t care. I am after having too many run ins with that man. I can’t take any more of this.”

“Y/N, you don’t mean that-”

“I do Clark. I mean it this time.”

Now what makes you curious is to why all of a sudden Clark is sticking up for Bruce? He always bickered to you about him so why the sudden change of heart?

“Do you think I’m stupid for leaving like that?”

“Of course not. I just feel, it I was in Bruce’s shoes you should have maybe discussed things further.”

“But I never wanted to.” You take a long swig of your drink and then throw your hands up in the air. “I never wanted any of this.”

“Well let’s hope he won’t cause a public display tomorrow when he realises you’ve gone.”

Due to your drunken state, you let out a small giggle. “Can I just say Clark, I always considered you as the budding journalist who didn’t even know his ABC’s, but tonight you’re not so bad.”

“Geez, thanks Y/N.”

“No problem,” you mockingly blow a kiss before Clark gets up.

“I better bring you home.”

“I’m fine Clare.”

“It’s Clark.”

“Oh right.”

Clark now lifts you up and puts your hand over his shoulder. You mumble “Put me down!” in between mumbles of grief but Clark proceeds to keep you under his wing.

Once he manages to get you into his truck and buckle you safely into the car, you remain silent while adjusting to your cloudy vision of drunkenness.

It is only when Clark says it aloud do you start to get overwhelmed by the entire situation.

“I’m sorry Bruce was not the man you expected to be. I know with your field of work he dominated the playing field as you reported his actions 24/7 but now you feel all your work has gone wasted, but don’t worry. Just place Bruce and Batman as an entirely different person-”

You can’t help but allow silent tears to fall while he recites his words but once he mentions Bruce being an entirely different person, you start to wail insufferably as heavy tears and snot replace your calm stoic expression.

“Oh god Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

Before you know it, you pull in Clark to wrap his arms around you as soon as he pulls over to the side of the road.

He tries hard to comfort you as you continue to cry but nothing really works. Although Clark has big sturdy arms like Bruce; they will never be his arms around you.

“I-I-I miss h-him Clark. I m-m-miss him s-so much.”

Clark puts a hand on your head and tries even more to soothe you. “There there, it’s going to be okay.”

“What do I do now?” You can’t help but sob.

You were never desperate for any man in your life. Usually you broke things with the man you were with; but now, it felt wrong for doing so. Bruce never did anything wrongful, so why should he be facing the consequences? 

Although he had hid something this big from you, he worshipped the ground you walked on and always made time for you, even when he was dealing with his own dilemmas.

But now, you can’t help think; as you sob in Clark Kent’s car, that maybe you shouldn’t have left so suddenly.

But, to soothe yourself, you just say that perhaps Bruce would understand and maybe it would be better this way rather than having a huge argument.

Bruce Wayne is a strong man. Surely he will cope with something like this.

Clark now pulls away and places his strong firm hands on your delicate slump shoulders. 

“Look Y/N, for now, I need you to get home and recover. Just don’t even think about him. Right now, you need to focus on yourself. That’s all that matters.”

You try to brush off the remaining thoughts of Bruce as he laid there peacefully in bed. “Jeez, thanks Clark. You should really start writing for the advice column,” is all you say while awkwardly wiping the excess snot that oozed from your red nose.

“I just care for you Y/N. You need someone to support you throughout this all.”

You both don’t know what else to say for the rest of the car ride home. Perhaps you wanted to continue lashing out about Bruce and his credibility to keep such a notorious secret from you or how you really wanted to turn back to the bar and get another drink in the hopes of forgetting the entire night, but you simply remained silent.

Being silent was the only good thing you had left in your system.

When you got it back to your apartment with the help of Clark, who was too afraid to drive off straight away, you stumbled up half heartedly to your apartment to do the unfortunate walk of shame up to your door.

Of course, you were stupid enough to leave your keys inside, so you would have to rely on Gail to leave you in.

Clark waits and stands at your door, eyeing you to make sure you are really okay as you close your eyes and mutter to yourself that this surely isn't really happening.

But sadly, no amount of cold beer or Ben & Jerry’s could help you in this moment, as Gail swings open the door and her flaring eyes indicate that she knew all along that you snuck out with Bruce when you returned home.

“Where the fuck were you? It’s nearly 4:00am!”

She pauses to whiff the air and then dares to ask, “Please tell me you’re not high or something, dear lord Y/N, please don’t turn into one of those stupid pot craze heads-”

Clark casts a concerning eye over at you and then at Gail before trying to start, “Um,excuse me-”

“Hold on a second Y/N, you can't say anything, especially in your state. I don’t usually lecture people, I mean I, for starters, ain’t no angel but I allowed you to stay here because I knew you’d cause no trouble-”

“I’m sorry m’am-”

“But no, you now have to turn into my worst nightmare and go out on wild goose chases...oh my god, were you with Bruce? God he couldn’t even wait a day before he left his mark on you…”

“Miss, I’m sorry to disturb you mid through your rant but I’m Clark Kent, a friend of Y/N who perhaps hasn’t had the best night ever. She has had a difficult spill with Bruce and I collected her...so please do leave this until the morning, I do think Y/N really deserves a good night's sleep, especially after everything.”

Gail now stops and keeps her mouth open. Even as she stands in her oversized Pink Floyd t-shirt (which is technically yours) with big puffy eyes and blotchy skin, she still looks glamorous to say the least.

Simultaneously, she glances over at you and raises an eyebrow. 

_You do know there’s a hot guy standing at our door?_

You, being the only one who seems to want this to end, just intrudes past Gail and grumbles, “I think I’m about to get sick-” and rush in just in time to get sick in the sick.

“Oh for christ’s sake Y/N! Not in the sink! Anywhere but the sink!” Gail shouts, but still stands with Clark.

Instead of being a daring friend, she instantly perks up her boobs and ruffles her hair, saying flirtatious, “Thank you Clark for bringing her here, if you want a quick cup of coffee, I can do it real quick-”

But Clark is sensible and excuses her, letting on that “Lois is probably worried about my whereabouts.”

Once the door closes, she turns her attention to you and slips beside you while you slide down the kitchen presses to lie on the kitchen tiles, while a hint of vomit still covers your mouth as tears stream down.

No matter what you say, Gail is a true friend to have in your every hour of need as she rushes over to grab a tissue for your eyes and to wipe away the sick.

“Jesus Y/N, what happened? You should have told me what happened. I spent my night watching gorgeous Captain America without you.”

You hold yourself stiff against her, not wanting to crumble.  
But in the end, your drunk and emotional state take force as you can only say in exasperated muttering, “Bruce...and I…...I had to end it….”

And that’s when the tears come. They fall so effortlessly and with ease that allows your vision to go blurry as you feel Gail wrapping her arms around you.

“Oh god Y/N, all so soon? Jeez, he has no heart all…”

“I...I-I broke it off….”

There is a hesitation. Then an “Oh.”

Gail is a soft pillow for you to cry on and once you start, you can’t stop. 

You continue to cry and wail like a small child as Gail tries her best to soothe you, but in the end you realise, you are the reason for all these tears. 

Tears that will never erase what has just happened.

* * * * * 

Bruce was not coping with Y/N’s sudden departure the way he had wanted to.

For him, with any woman he mingled with, he would go for an early workout session to clear his head and then get back to work effectively.

But this time, it didn’t work.

Instead, Bruce couldn’t help but think of Y/N all the time. Even when he tried to perform his 100 crunches and push ups, he had to stop countless of times before his arms and legs felt too weak to continue. He couldn’t help but think about last night and what came out of it.

Y/N was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. She slipped away from his arms and drove away, all in the hopes of not leaving any more damage.

But, inevitably, Y/N’s method hurted more than ever. He wish he could have more moment together to just explain everything again in a more constructive manner, rather than leading her to the ruins of Wayne Manor all in the hopes of lighting a bigger spark between them.

It seems that the spark he was planning for turned into a wild bush fire and now he has no control over it as it burns over everything the two of them have had in the past four months together.

But should this be something he should stop? Or should he let her take action before or will the flames dwindle down to nothing to the point of no return?

These questions racked around Bruce’s dazed head as he went up to the kitchen to get a cup of herbal ginger tea.

Silence gathered in the room as soon as he stepped foot. 

Damian, Tim, Jason and Dick were all having scrambled eggs for breakfast with rich roasted coffee beans that clouded the air with its fresh brew, but it lingered to nothing as the tension extracted it into a form of bitter silence.

Bruce tries to act normal to the boys and greets them all one by one. 

The boys simply nod their heads as they reply “Good morning” to Bruce, although technically it is 12:45.

Bruce walks over to the other side of the kitchen to put on the kitchen. He folds his arms and stares out at the view but he can sense that the boys have something to say as they try hard not to glance directly at him or question is red eyes.

At first to ease the tension, he asks, “Where’s Cassandra?”, but his response is a simple answer. “She went out to do the grocery shopping with Alfred .”

Of course it would be Cassandra to be the only one who knows when to stay clear of Bruce at a moment like this.

The boys continue to slurp their coffee and chow down their eggs before Bruce finally speaks again, “If you have anything to say then spit it out.”

Of course they are all reluctant to admit that they are intrigued to know what happened between you and Bruce, but deep down Bruce knows that they want to know what exactly happened.

“Well if you want to know, I told her everything.” Bruce says calmly while pouring his cup of herbal tea.

Instantly the boys perk their heads up and respond with every different reactions.

“You did what?!”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Well I mean it’s great and all, but why now?!”

“Father you should have asked for our approval first.”

Bruce isn’t really in the mood for any of this but he sighs and gives in before sitting down with the boys at the sleek black table.

“I had to tell her or else sooner or later she would have figured out.”

“Oh please! She writes for the Daily Planet! As if she was going to figure it out!” Scoffs Dick who takes the last sip from his coffee. “You should have waited until she was home from hospital for a little longer…”

“Come on Dick, cut the guy some slack. He doesn’t know how to handle women..”

“Well thanks Jason,” Bruce manages to mumble.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have told her now and perhaps waited-”

“Until what Tim? Before she gets tracked down and beaten again by mad criminals?!”

No one says anything as they allow the words to settle. 

Of course Damian inputs first with, “I mean telling her that you’re batman is a big change. I thought we were sworn to secrecy in this field of work.”

Of course, Bruce gives a condescending glance over at his son before piping up, “If it wasn’t for you Damian, she probably would have been okay with all of this.”

Immediately the attention turns to focus on the youngest member of the bat family. 

“Damian? What did he do this time?”

Bruce only glares over at the youngest of the clan before Damian finally gives in. 

“I told her that I was Bruce’s son.”

Instantly everyone freezes. “You did what?!”

“I had to! It was the only way she would come back to forgive you father”

“But then how about the champagne and the flowers? How did she take that?”

Bruce grimaces. “Not too well…”

“Oh.”

“I know,” Bruce huffs. “I thought she would okay with this. I mean she is a tough woman so I thought surely she could handling but judging by the looks of things, she couldn’t…”

“So she just left, just like that?” Tim asks with a snap of a finger to indicate his meaning.

“I didn’t even see her go. She came here last night after our talk and she fell asleep and when I woke up, she was gone. She only left a letter behind to tell me that she was sorry and that she couldn't keep this going…”

“That’s pretty low for anyone to do,” Jason tries to comfort Bruce and place you down on a different tier, but even that doesn’t help the situation in the slightest.

Of course, Bruce knows that the boys are trying to help, but there is still a pang of guilt when he hears them belittle Y/N.

“Look boys, relax, let’s just not talk about it and maybe check out that CCTV footage from the attack last week involving the Jewellers down near Gotham bank that Detective Gordan told me about.”

Of course the boys groan as they hoped for something more exhilarating in terms of footage.

One by one, they get up and leave their empty cups behind them. Usually it would annoy Bruce for them to do this, but for now, all he does is remain still while focussing in the placid lake view.

“You coming Bruce?” Dick inquires but he just flaps a hand at him.

“I'll let you all get a head start at it,” Bruce tires to smirk at him but even Dick knows it doesn’t fool him.

He shrugs his shoulder and walks away while Bruce drinks his herbal tea all in the hopes of blocking Y/N from his frazzled mind.

He wonders if he should call her and chance meeting up. But what would he actually say? 

_Oh sorry about the other night and finally opening up to you about my true identity but I hope you can forgive me?_

No, what was he thinking? He couldn’t immediately charge in and expect Y/N to forgive him with the click of his fingers.

No, he needed to wait. They both needed to process everything.

Maybe he should have waited. Or maybe that was the right thing to do.

Like they all say, If you just open up the wound quickly, then it may take quicker to heal. But who was he to know about feelings and emotions. Never in his life did he ever have to deal with opening up to anyone outside of his world about his true emotions. He kept things to a low-key and never stepped outside the line.

But Y/N was a risk worth taking. It was daring, yes, but I'd he regret it? No. Never in a million years would he ever take back the moments he had with Y/N. 

Y/N brought out something in the both of them that they both never knew they had. Y/N was ruthless and daring, but also knew her boundaries. But she didn’t ever for one second, disrespect you. 

Sure she had her moments, but they never meant anything to you. They were pinches compared to the full blown smack she dealt when she left in the middle of the night. 

Now, Bruce is left to relive the damage every night as he would confine himself to his coo con of Egyptian cotton sheets. He would feel her presence as he tries to fall asleep. He would regret the fact that he couldn’t even feel her slip away from his arms as he drifted off in slumber.

Could the both of them ever go back to the ways things were before he told her the truth? 

Could Y/N and Bruce really have the relationship he dreamt about or was it all a helpless false reality?

For now, all Bruce could care about was the fact that maybe in the end, he needed new sheets.

* * * * * 

“I come in peace with food.” Gail declares as she sets down an armful of food packages on your bed. She glances over at your curled up position wrapped in blankets while staring at your laptop screen.

“So, what show are you binge-watching now?”

You eye Gail warily from your bed. Your face pulls into an annoyed frown. “Just the Gilmore Girls.”

“Oh, nice.”

You finally give in and pause what you are watching and take out your earphones before grunting, “You shouldn’t have bought that much food for me.”

“Oh well actually you technically bought all this food as I had to use your credit card as I couldn’t find mine.” Gail throws over your wallet which lands on your bed. 

You don’t feel in the mood to have a heated argument with her so you just put back in your earphones.

“Okay now I know it sounds bad, but I needed to do something to help you. You are moping around acting like the worst thing has happened in your life.”

You glare to signify that maybe breaking up with Bruce was in fact the worst thing that has ever happened in your life.

“I’m not moping, I just need space.”

“Well a week is a pretty long time don’t ya think?”

You growl at Gail, unable to refute back anything smart.

You never expected this phase to last this long but it has. You have spent each day getting up and grabbing coffee and nothing else while you stayed in your pjs and a nice warm hoodie (actually the one Bruce left from his late night intrusion), as you wrap a blanket and duvet around you to stay warm. 

The hours clash together as you watch various shows on Netflixs in the hopes of cheering you up. But it hasn’t really worked.

Now Gail sits down on the edge of your bed and taps her fingers against the worn out duvet.

“So, are you going to tell me what exactly happened between you and Bruce?”

Of course, when Clark brought you back to your apartment, Gail was only mad at you because of your drink state, but once you two were left alone and you could only retort that you ‘ended everything with him’ through muffled sobs, Gail calmed down and tried to help you, but you told her that it was too late at night to actually explain it all.

So now it was the time to actually tell her, but what exactly?

Of course you couldn’t give away Bruce’s true identity to Gail. Gail is the type to never keep secrets, so she could easily blab to your next door neighbours about it.

You now have to look alert and ready, so you lift up your hood and take out your earphones and close the laptop shut. 

Twiddling your thumbs, you are unsure how to start but somehow the words slip out.

“I found out something really big about him…”

Oh course in this moment, Gail perks her head up and looks intrigued, even when really she should be at least sympathetic.

You swallow a rather strange taste that forms in your mouth before continuing. 

“Bruce Wayne..”

Gail leans forward, breathing in every syllable before you finally finish.

“Bruce has a son.”

There is a drawn out pause before Gail responds. “So, that’s it?”

“That’s it?! Isn’t that something you would want to know before you start any serious relationship?!”

“Well I mean this is the twenty first century and society is changing. It’s not like as if he told you he killed someone.”

Somehow her words strike a chord with you and your eyes start to water.

“Oh Y/N, I didn’t mean to upset you!” She leaps forwards to hug you tightly while you still lay underneath the thick duvet and blankets.

“It’s just- I feel so bad for rushing away like that. I shouldn’t have done that Gail. He probably hates me right now.”

“Well maybe his kid hates you even more, and besides, haven’t you got any of his calls?”

Now you push away from Gail, suddenly alarmed. “No...why?”

In spite of things, you had your phone switched off to clear you head after everything, and now you are wondering whether that was the right thing to do.

“Well he called, a couple of times in fact, but don’t worry, I told him some cold hard truth and hung up each time.” Gail proudly states.

“So...what exactly did you say to him?”

“I told him to back off and told him that if he should be a true man, rather than a slag who only prey on vulnerable woman- not that you’re vulnerable Gail- but I also told him to mind his own business and to learn how to be a decent man because millionaires like him walk around this place thinking they can get whatever they want. And last but not least, I said ‘screw you’ for making me clean up after his stupid trail of rose petals.”

Gail is so delighted with herself with what she has just told you, but you feel the complete opposite.

“I better call him-”

But Gail grabs your shoulders and pulls you back on to the bed. “Oh no you don’t misses.”

You pour and protest, “But Gail, he needs to know how I feel-”

Now Gail jumps closer to you and places an arm around your shoulder. “Look Y/N, you got to get over this. Don’t let a man with big money make you feel so small. You should be back working on a new article or going to that old vintage book shop down the corner.”

“But what if I’m not ready to go back yet?” You gulp, unaware of the apprehensive pang that stays in your stomach.

“Sooner or later, you need to step out of your comfort zone. Remember how you helped me after I found out that Ben was hitting on a student behind my back? We had wine and spent the weekend pampering ourselves and laughing with good food and movies. You told me to never let a man ruin me, and look at you now?”

Of course, Gail is right. You really have let yourself go; all because of Bruce Wayne.

But then again, you felt so connected with him, in a way you never felt with anyone else.

So for him to literally break your heart, it is taking a long time to get back to normality. 

You feel you are trying to pull away from someone you are attached to and you are not making that much progress. 

Some days you feel fine, but then one single thought send you spiralling back to a mess where you confine yourself to chick-flick movies and an unhealthy amount of chocolate.

But now, right here with Gail, you finally feel a ray of hope is starting to appear off in the far distance. Maybe you can get over Bruce and start again. Maybe things will get better.

All at once in a sudden spur of energy, you unwrap yourself from your duvet and blanket and take off Bruce’s hoodie.

“Okay Gail, go get some take out, beer, rom-com DVDs and face masks. We’re going to finally have our movie night.”

Gail is instantly satin as she flings herself at you. 

“Oh thank god!”

You laugh and hug her back, but in your head you feel a sudden sense of dread crawl inside the back of your skull while images start to flash simultaneously.

And right now you need to do something to distract yourself before you start to hear that laugh again. 

But who knows. Maybe it will never go away. Or perhaps it will stay as a gentle reminder that no matter what, life will never be the same again.

* * * * * 

“You don’t look alright Master Wayne.”

Startled to not even notice Alfred down in the batcave, Bruce straightens his slump back before indirectly replying with, “I’m fine Alfred...really.” 

“Your face betrays you at the best of times.”

Bruce won’t admit that he hasn’t been the same since Y/N left. He’s been down in the batcave looking over crime cases and seeing whether or not he could find something to keep his head in check.

For now, he proceeds to look at the monitor again of crime footage; but it is the same clip played over again and again.

“Have you tried calling Y/N yet?”

“Alfred, I’m not in the mood.”

“I suppose that’s a yes then.”

Silence.

“Master Wayne, can I just say-”

“I’m sorry Alfred but I don’t need a lecture off you right now, I have much better things to be doing.”

Of course, Alfred remains still while he frowns at Bruce’s bad temper. He knows Bruce doesn’t mean it but at the best of times, Bruce can be a handful. From the age he began being his proper guardian to now, Bruce has always been stubborn, which often lead to countless arguments between the pair. 

But this argument is different from the rest; it’s about a girl. Never in their lives have they ever interfered in such bickering and snarling over a woman, especially someone like Y/N.  
So for now, it feels like brand ew territory in no man’s land for the both of them; and at any single a bomb could set off and ruin everything.

“Bruce, all I can say is to just let her figure things out and wait-”

“I’ve waited long enough Alfred and so far she has made very little effort to work things out. I mean I told her everything and not even for one second did she ever consider trying to sort things out!” Bruce snaps and bangs his fist on the table, causing Alfred to only look at him more sternly.

There is a deep sigh as Alfred pushes up his glasses. “Bruce, if you want her so badly than any other woman you’ve encountered, just prove to her that she means something.”

Bruce has had his fair share of women, Talia and Selina come to mind. But they were nothing compared to Y/N. Ever since that night when he ambushed the building to discover her tied up, he has often wondered if that was the breaking point in their relationship.

But then again, everything between the two of you cautioned Bruce to wonder whatever or not he was really the one falling for Y/N. And now that it is gone so quickly, he doesn’t know if he can take anymore waiting; he needs to do something now or else he won’t ever get the chance to rekindle what they had. But what exactly could he do…?

His eyes trail over the screen one last time before an image in his head flashes of when he raided the abandoned warehouse. 

Yes. That would do it. He couldn’t win her back with flowers or chocolate after everything; he could get rid of what has ruined them for good.

“You know what Alfred, I actually do have something in mind…” Bruce trails off before focussing on the monitor again and researching new information for the case. 

He clicks on a file and retrieves a video from the night; dark footage that shifts into light back and forth until figures appear with a body bag, and a voice can be heard out of thin air.

 _”Well well, well. What do we have here boys? Is this our guest for tonight’s show. She’s gonna be the star performance.”_ And then there is a crackle, a laugh so hollow and fierce, it doesn’t put Bruce at ease, even in it’s high pitched tone.

He clicks again on the clip until the words are spinning around in his head that at this point, Alfred has no choice but to leave the batcave while mumbling how Bruce never knows how to take good advice when he has the chance.

But in the end, when Bruce eyes are heavy and submerging into sleepiness, he finally cracks the code.

Monitoring the voice again and trying to dial the voice up to various tones, he finally figures out who it is.

And with that, a new spring of life comes as Bruce jumps from his chair and puts on his suit.

It looks like Bruce has his own investigating to do.

Meanwhile, Alfred returns back to the kitchen to find Tim upstairs trying to figure out a clue to the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. He lifts up his head when Alfred announces, “It’s a code red.”

“Jesus I didn’t even know we had a code red. That must mean it’s pretty bad.” 

“Yes it is Tim, and Bruce doesn’t want to talk about it. I just feel lately that he’s acting very strange lately.”

Tim twists his head to the side before he asks, “How so?”

“He’s refusing to go out and he has been down in the bat cave all day. I’m sure he’s further investigating old crime footage; a phase he gets into whenever he is down, and now I feel he doesn’t want us to get involved.”

“I never thought he would be this bad over a girl.”

“I know.” Alfred sighs loudly.

After Y/N had left Bruce, Jason has decided to head back to his apartment with Cassandra and Damian, but it is only for short notice while Bruce managed to clear his head. Dick said he other things to be focussing on and decided to go back to his apartment as well, but Tim knew that Dick didn’t want to be stuck watching Bruce reform to his solitude.

Although everyone wants to stay clear of Bruce, Tim feels that perhaps they should keep a close eye on him. 

When they have had their own falls, Bruce was always there to pick them up, so maybe they should be returning the favour.

“Look Tim, I know it isn’t the best advice to give but for now, I say just give him a break.”

Tim frowns and argues, “But I feel like he’s going to get himself in trouble.”

“Trust me Tim, Bruce won’t do anything crazy. I feel he just needs space. He’ll be okay soon.”

“Well I hope so….otherwise we’ll be left to pick up the pieces.”

In the end, Tim decides to go down and check on Bruce, hoping to finally make some sense on what is going on, except when he reaches the cave, the place is dark and dormant with no inclination of any life form.

“Bruce?” Tim shouts but the echo only travels off into the distance.

He mumbles grief and continues forth to make sure Bruce isn’t stuck in the back fixing a gadget. Every step pounds on the concrete floor that sends deep thuds as the distant remote space still continues to show no sign of life.

When Tim steps closer to the controls, he recognises on one of the large computer screens a large blueprint of a building site near by, along with another smaller screen showing a photo of a middle aged man with large biceps and heavy tattoos.

Another file is open, which reads _File 5G78CZ_

Intrigued, Tim picks it up and recognises photos from warehouse along with an in depth analysis of medical records and noticeable suspects.

All at once, sheer dread consumes Tim and he forces himself to run as fast as he can upstairs to Alfred.

“What seems to be the matter Tim?”

“It’s Bruce. He’s gone A-wall. He plans to ambush suspect's about Y/N’s capturing.”

* * * * * 

You wake in a cold sweat, heart pounding, every worst nightmare you could think of just came true. You imagined that night over and over again, remembering every detail as tape covered your mouth and ropes bared your ankles and wrists while the cracking of a whip continued while a menacing laugh echoes again and again.

“Get-Get away from me!” You let out so loud as you toss up from you bed. 

“Y/N relax, it’s only me, Gail...calm down…” 

Now you stop thrashing about and stare up panting hard and heaving at your startled friend.

“Gail? But I thought-”

“Y/N are you sure you’re okay?”

Unsure how to react, you just stop and brush a hand over your matted hair. “I’m okay.”

But of course, Gail isn’t one bit convinced. And why should she be- she has been up to ninety each night checking on you, especially after your night in with movies when you lulled to sleep, only to wake up panting and screaming while resting on her.

“Y/N, this has been going on for awhile, and I don’t mean to startle you but I don’t know if you realise it but you have been saying some weird things in your sleep..”

Usually she’d add in the _‘I mean you need to stop with the sex dreams’_ but she looks so genuinely concerned.

“What…?”

“Well I don’t know how to put it gently, but you say _‘Please stop it’_ and _‘Stop it’_ , along with saying _’Bruce hasn’t done anything wrong.’_

Oh. That’s bad.

Outside drizzle of rain and rumbling thunder can be heard as you sit wrapped in your duvet while Gail sits on the edge with a unlit torch.

“Y/N, to be fair, you never want to speak to me about what was going on between you and Bruce...but I mean I was literally this close to notifying the cops when I found you in that state with a busted lip and deep bruises on your frail body. You need to tell me or else I can’t help.”

“But I can’t Gail…”

“Y/N, you have to, or else what am I suppose to do? Stay here and watch you sleep again until you wake up hysterically again?”

You should feel compassion for Gail. But that’s not what you feel. Anger rises in you and crowds everything else.

_“You what Gail? Here’s the truth! I was foolish and got drunk after Bruce left me in the restaurant and next thing I know, I get knocked out by a psycho and beaten continuously all over stupid Batman-”_

This is what you would have said if the anger had gotten to you, but instead your lips only tremble as nothing comes out.

“Oh Y/N, I didn’t mean to upset you..”

“I do want to tell you everything, but for now, I can’t tell you, but I am willing to talk to a stranger if it will help things.”

Gail acknowledges your shaken voice and pulls you in close to her. 

“As long as you’re willing to open up to someone, I’ll be here to help.”

And as if, by a sheer miracle, you cannot hear any more loud thunder outside, only the soft pitter patter of rain droplets that land on your window.

But the rain doesn’t bother either you or Gail as you both start to drift off again, all in the hopes of drifting off to a better place. A place with no villains, no bare scars on your back and definitely, no Batman.

* * * * *  
The thunder rumbles onwards as Bruce made his escape route out of the batcave. It wasn’t that he was escaping, but rather slipping away for awhile before anyone noticed his disappearance.

Reeling the engine in his car, his hands grip the steering wheel firmly as he speeds on the empty roads out in the distant from the heart of Gotham.

He heads towards what he suspects to be a street gang fight area, where winners earn money and late night fame.

All he was interested in was one man- Robert Drohan. Originally from Ireland, Wicklow to be exact, he moved to the states in the hopes of pursuing his dream as a freelance writer. But when he failed his first year in college and couldn't afford rent, he established himself as a street fighter to earn himself a reputation. In the end, after hitting it off with the wrong crowd, he decided to start working with local gangs in the drug business. 

He has served his five year sentence for robbing from two high secured shops and is now back on the streets. And this times it seems he has made one or two few more friends; one who happens to be the Joker.

Speeding off towards the high end streets of Gotham, he finally stops and parks near an empty alley before heading towards a small empty building where six men sit around a small table smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap beer.

“So I told him, if he didn’t pay next time- I’ll shot him straight between his eyes!” A strong Irish accent booms proudly.

“Now boys, the boss sent us our earnings, but we still aren't done yet. We need to meet with him down in the usual spot at 11:15 sharp.”

Bruce could not get over how dumb these men were to actually speak about their plans like that in the street. But while they continued to squabble over what to do, he made his entrance clear as he jumped down from the high building to greet the men himself.

The men immediately respond and put up a fight, dodging and firing their guns at him. But Bruce is fast and knows what to do as he flips and bends his way out of their reach before coming back to pack a powerful punch and kick at the men. 

One by one, they fall to their knees and wallow in pain before the mighty bat grabs Robert by his collar.

Batman steps closer to the bloody mouth bench and grabs his hair and pulls his head upwards. 

“Where is he?” His metallic voice growls while opposing a threat to the man with his fist.

“I don’t know who you’re on about, I swear!”

There is a hard punch straight in the jaw before Batman asks the same questions, this time with more stern.

“I know he has you as his rats, doing his work. Now tell me where he is before I consider ending your life-”

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you!” Robert pleads and he spits out blood before continuing. “He’s back in his lair near the club he dominates….he does his business close by; the warehouse is a common trading place for him…”

But Batman doesn’t seem too happy with this information, continuing to hold the man closing with his strong hands. “But why bring in a innocent woman and brutally attack her?!”

There is a moment as Robert stumbles to catch up with his thoughts. “Oh, her? Sure the boss told us to get her, he said something about her job being useful and that he knew he could use her as bait against the Daily Planet-”

“The Daily Planet? What does he want with the Daily Planet?”

“I don’t know- he said something about making his statement-

“Statement?”

“He wants the world to know-” but suddenly, a flash of car lights overpowers the two men as the alley is invaded by three silhouettes. 

“Police! We have you surrounded! Drop your weapons and step forward!” A familiar voice- James Gordan- shouts while aiming a gun at the shadows.

“We know you’re here Bats, some come out and make this easy for all of us.” 

But as the police step further, towards the beat up feuds, the only evidence that batman was even there is the dark batarang that lays on the ground.

“Chief, you better take a look at this,” one officer says while shining a flashlight down at one of the tied up men. He is conscious, but barely, as he can barely lift his head but only murmur silently with agony.

As soon as James steps forward and recognises what he sees. He swears and grumbles harsh words.

“Call the medics stat, and get all of these men treated.” He barks orders at the other startled officer who examines the victims.

“It looks like we got ourselves a delinquent in the form of a bat.”

* * * * *  
After convincing yourself that everything was okay, you finally snapped out of your trance and started to make shape in your life.

It takes you awhile to get back into the swing of things, but soon enough work becomes a priority again as you return back to the Daily Planet. 

Even if no one seems to ask how you are as they only demand for you to file minor reports for the day as soon as you step foot inside, you are glad to be back.

Work can distract you for 12 hours each day before heading home to a house that reminds you of that gruesome night over and over again.

Even though you promised Gail, you still haven’t gotten the guts yet to see a therapist. You’re just waiting for the right time; or rather refusing to accept that you might actually need help. Someday, something will be the catalyst to make you go, but for now, you just want to get back to doing your job.

Of course, you do get a few sympathetic glances towards your way as you finally returned to your dusty desk with a dormant computer which hadn’t been switched on for seven weeks.

Jimmy Olsen had to be the one to did come over and ask how you were, while also hoping to hear about what happened between you and Bruce. 

It seems nothing goes unheard in the office these days.

Of course, Perry didn’t give in for petty talk and immediately instructed you back with a firm nod and a loud, “Glad to see you have finally returned!”, which leaves you feeling quite smaller than you ever felt before.

Thankfully, Clark tries to act normal, taking the time to have a decent conversation that doesn’t involve the mention of Bruce.

“So how are things?”

“Good,” you stifle. “I’m a lot better than I was that night.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that.” 

“You know Clark, you don’t have to be engaging with me, I know you’re busy with work-”

“And so are you. But that won’t stop me for checking up on you. I just want to make sure that things are fine. That’s all.”

“Trust me Clark, I’m okay. Not even an article about him will get me worked up.” 

And so the cycle continues of getting up and heading to work and trying to catch up with things. You notice how they timidly ask you to cover all the minor stories for now, which you don’t mind, while Clark still keeps a good eye on you, making sure everything is okay.

So far, it seems you are finally getting the hang of returning back to normality.

That is until a single news bulletin decides to shake you up for good.

At first, there is hustle and bustle around the large TV as people pester others to be quiet while they listen, and others demand for someone to turn it up.

Soon the volume is raised as the new reporter speaks:

_’Our reports have gathered that five men have been hospitalised after a brutal attack last night involving a strange method of torture as the men were branded with the batman symbol all on their chests. The police have confirmed that Batman was involved and that the men were involved in the harassment and attacking of local reporter Y/N L/N.’_

At first, you have to be certain that what you heard is true, but it is until some heads turn towards yours, with looks of sympathy, and others with grief, do you start to feel a little nausea.

Perry is the first to come over and comment, declaring loudly, “Okay everyone! Back your desks! These articles don’t write by themselves!” and then turns to whisper to you, “Do you need a break and a cup of coffee to clear your head?”

Still not realising what has just happened is in fact real, your hands start to get sweaty and it isn’t long before you break. “Um, Perry, I didn’t expect this- I mean I just, can I take the rest of the day off, if that’s okay?”

He nods and walks you to the elevator before saying, “Take it easy kid. We’ll be waiting for you whenever you return.”

But as soon as the elevator doors are closed, it is only then do you start to feel the tears forming and your hands shake when retrieving your phone.

You dial a number and wait before finally saying, “Hello, if you’re free, may I come over to your office? I think I’m ready to talk.”

Once you end the call, you left out another stifling breath before wiping your mascara stained tears off your cheeks and marching out of the elevator and out the doors of the Daily Planet.

It seems that Bruce Wayne is the catalyst to this fatal disaster. A disaster that is swallowing you whole.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoy this update- I know I completely rushed it and there are probably a few mistakes but I hope you do enjoy it! :)
> 
> I am starting back into school on Monday and I am in 6th year and studying for my Leaving Cert (basically GCSE or S.A.T exams but Irish) and I really do need good grades so there will probably be no updates anytime soon (( _I'm so sorry!!_ )) but I may post a few little pieces on my tumblr @/foreverwriting123 to keep ye all going! :D
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated! Thank you <3

“How could you Bruce? After everything I told you, you decide to do this!” Alfred shouts as he tosses a newspaper at a tired eyed Bruce.

The headline blares **’Bat brand of justice’** with an image of Robert Drohan wrapped up in the police officer’s arms, battered and bruised to the point of looking like a completely different person. Bruce can’t remember being that exact in with his punches;he only remembers beating him continuously waiting for answers. He just didn’t take his rage would make this happen.

Of course, as soon as Bruce entered the kitchen to witness everyone staring at him with stern looks, a family meeting was already in session. And it looked like even his pretty face could get him out of trouble this time.

“Look I thought it was the right thing to do-”

“The right thing to do? Jesus Bruce, you could have got her a pair of Louboutin heels instead of doing this? Anything would have been better instead of leaving a man crippled!” Dick huffs.

“I did not leave a man crippled.” 

“Well if you look at the media, frankly you did as you beat his legs with a crow bar.”

A crow bar? Bruce doesn’t remember anything like that.

“-And when did you decide last night would be the best time to start branding criminals? I mean come on Bruce, when I suggested it you said no, and now you use my ideas behind my back!”

“That’s enough Jason. As for all of you, you should be doing something better than to be rattling Bruce at a time like this.”

Bruce feels like he is after experiencing a severe hangover as he can’t remember anything from the night before while his head throbs mercifully. 

Alfred now stands over him, like a concerned parent, waiting until Bruce stops rubbing his eyes to begin his lecture.

“For god’s sake Bruce, Y/N would not appreciate news spinning around about you beating off her suppose bandits!”

“But they were Alfred-

“I don’t care Bruce! You can’t expect Y/N not to hate you after what you have just done, the poor girl is probably only recovered after the events.”

Bruce thought of how Y/N would be feeling, but he never thought she would be feeling hatred towards him.

“I just needed to do it to serve justice-”

“Well if you were a more sensible man, you should have just sent the girl some roses and tried and talk to her rather than causing this mess.”

“Look where that has left us.” Bruce grumbles.

There is a pause as the two just stare into midair, hoping for something to come out of this lecture.

“Bruce, you need to fix this damage between the two of you. Even if she never forgives you, at least you can say that you both talked to each other rather than choice to ignore each other.”

“But what do I say now? Besides, I have better things to be doing now instead of-”

“Are you telling me now that you wish to give up all hope with this girl? By God, are you even really Bruce at all? Where has the real Bruce Wayne gone? Has he decided to give up all hope and recoil to a worthless man who simply hides away?”

Bruce wants to protest and say something to back himself up, but for now, Bruce doesn’t know what to say. He has let himself relapse into this strange man; a man who no longer holds the same restillance and desire to pick up the pieces.

“Now come on now and sort yourself out. Go see about calling her and explaining what happened.”

“But what if she-”

“Bruce.” Alfred snaps. “You handle everything. Just take the risk. Surely a man like you knows how to take risks.”

But even at this point, Bruce isn’t too sure if Y/N would consider something so mundane a risk he has to take.

* * * * *

“So, tell me Y/N, how are things?”

You shuffle in your seat as you try to stifle out the right words to say, but you didn’t know exactly what would be ideal thing to say in this situation.

“It’s okay Y/N. The doctors told me you would feel like this and I know, it’s very common for anyone who dealt with something like this to be off...”

Yeah. That’s it. You’re just off.

You just ignore her remark as you choke down a snarl. You’re sure she wouldn't be too pleased if you expressed your opinions about Bruce right here, right now to her.

But you do spit out, “So, you know what happened?”

The therapist nods and suddenly there is a sharp click in her pen. She flips over a new sheet from her clipboard and writes frantically while replying, “I only know of what happened to you from various news reports.”

You let out a deep unsettling sigh. This is not what you want to hear not now. Not after everything.

“Please, can we just not mention what happened that night for the next fourty minutes I’m here?”

Of course the young woman obliges with a solemn nod and continues to write. She’s probably noting how your trauma is something she wants to dive into as soon as you’re ready. 

“Okay then. So what exactly would you like to spend this session talking about?” 

Your foot taps on the carpet nervously, unsure how to put it into words.

“Well you see, before any of this, I had met someone who completely changed my life, but after everything I’m not too sure what to do anymore, and I’m left here wondering what to do. Sorry, I shouldn’t be rambling on like this in our first session” your voice is wavering and seemingly quite rushed.

“It’s okay, take your time. I’m not rushing you. One step at a time,” she dismisses you with a warm, reassuring smile.

“Okay then,” you start off slowly, rehearsing what to say. “I meet this man when I went on a meeting and we instantly hit it off. He took me back to his place and we had a fun night, but then we never saw each other again until I met him at a party.”

“And how far apart was this time of no communication?”

You are hesitant, making sure your information is exact and correct. “It was two weeks until I saw him again at the party.”

She nods and writes again. You at this point are probably wondering if she is also questioning your taste in men.

“How did this lack of communication make you feel?”

“Well, at first, I tried to call him after he gave me his phone number, but I got nothing. I was angry and upset, but then when I saw him again, those feelings vanished and I felt like we had been together for so long. It really was pure bliss.”

She probably notices your red cheeks as she points her pen and asks, “So then, after this, how was your relationship with…-”

She is waiting for a name, so you quickly lie and say, “Olly.”

You continue to answer her question, “I mean, what could I expect? He was nice and thoughtful and he even made the effort to visit me at my office and visit my apartment. Even if it was at a random time, I enjoyed every second together as he made me feel like I was special, you know?”

“But now?”

Now, you feel your throat choke up. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Is it after the traumatic events you’ve experience that have made you feel like you are distancing yourself from Olly?”

You? Distancing yourself from Bruce? You never pick it in that context before, even when you did leave him that night. But you never felt you were ever wanting to pull away. Even when you were in your dire state, you often stayed close to Bruce. So why now are you questioning what has happened?

“Well no, I would say Br- sorry,Olly is distancing himself from him.”

Of course the therapist jots down more and continues to question away. “How so?”

“He feels responsible, like he was the one who did this, but I know he didn’t. He is just a man, not a monster. What those men did to me- they were vicious, nothing like Olly. But he continued to feel bad and I often felt he was cold around me as he didn’t know how to respond.”

“Has he ever dealt with something like this in a relationship? Usually this milestone would either make or break any couple, no matter what the relationship is like. It is important to note how you both felt at certain stages. But even today, how has he dealt with things?”

Now you stifle in your chair and look down at the ground. “Well, the thing is, we haven’t really spoken since. I mean we have yes, but now- it has turned badly as Olly has felt the burden of not knowing how to handle it all. And I didn’t want to cause anymore pain, so I felt it was best to leave.”

“But was it really the best thing to do Y/N? Maybe Olly could be having a wrong turn right now and feels like this is a huge gap that you can both never return from.”

Of course, due to her comment, you have to lash back and say, “Well he wasn’t the one who got striped and tied down and tortured with clown faces now, was he?”

Silence build in the room as you start to regret your words as she continues to write away, this time flipping over to a brand new page.

Wringing your hands you apologise. “I’ve never done this before, I just feel uptight, that’s all.”

“It’s fine Y/N. Maybe we should have a quick chat about what happened and how you both are coping, it may be a huge trigger.”

 

You clench your fists and stammer, “I just don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet.”

The therapist nods again and writes some more. At this point you feel she is writing more information down rather than helping you.

“I’m sorry, I shoudn’t have came, I’ve just been all over the place after hearing about the news with Batman and the criminals that were beaten up.”

“I sense that there is bitterness when you mention this so-called Batman. But, giving your circumstances, if it was Olly who did this, would you still be feeling the same or would you be thankful for his efforts?”

The words catch on to you and crawl over your skin to the point of suffocating you.

“What did you just say?”

Instantly, the room becomes a blur and you start to feel your heart hammering inside your chest. 

“I’m sorry but I have to go somewhere-” you say midway through giving up and forcing your legs to move. 

“Y/N, we have 25 more minutes!”

But you rush out the door and keep on going until you make it out to your car.

Fumbling for your keys, you start panting and cursing as you try to stop yours hands from shaking. You feel your chest becoming heavy as your breathing rattles on. Blood thunders throughout your body as you try to breath. Your heart starts hammering and you cannot stay focussed.

 

_Don’t be like this. Not over Bruce._

But it’s much more than that. This is everything. You now can’t get up and go to work without feeling queasy with the thought that he could be involved in the news. Even when you shower, you’re constantly reminded on those precious moments you had together.

Heartbreak turns everything to a distant memory as everything stops to a sudden halt, leaving you to the motion of falling down on the bed, too weak and tired to hold yourself any longer. 

No matter what anyone dares to think, your life has transformed. All because of a bat.

You tell yourself to breathe and to stop crying just because a therapist provoked you. Therapists are suppose to be helpful in these situation, not the opposite. 

In the end, you give in to one good cry while you head hits the back of the car seat before driving away to find pleasure in your own apartment. 

After a fresh shower and putting on a new hoodie and PJ ends, you pour yourself a glass of wine and spend the rest of the night watching comedy reruns before you hear a knock on the door.

You get up, slowly, languidly, too emotionally exhausted to even question who it is.

You stand at your door to find a familiar face standing, well rather actually, sitting at your door. Wearing a black suit with polished shoes, he looks up with a gaunt expression.

“Bruce? What are you doing here?”

You honestly feel like slamming the door right now to prove a point but instead you can’t help but feel defenceless and just stand there, strapping at him as he picks himself off from the ground.

Instead, you rather feel like you’re in a trance, fixated to the point of no return as you feel prickles form on your skin. So much for your words with your therapist. It seems everything could unfold right now.

“Don’t worry, it’s just me. No champagne or rose petals,” he tries so hard to smirk effectively with a winning smile but deep down you know he is struggling to even say the words.

“Mind if I come inside?”

You, with folded arms try your best to stay distant and cold, saying coolly, “You better be quick. Gail will be home soon.”

He nods and steps forward and you catch the scent of his elegant aftershave that makes you quiver. You lead him into the kitchen and tell him to sit down while you grab a bottle of water for him and a cool beer for yourself.

He remains poised and calm as you don’t give direct eye contact when giving him a glass, but as soon as you settle down to the seat across from him, he starts.

“Y/N, why did you leave like that?”

You stop, your lips inhaling a cold refreshing drop of beer before you set it back down again.

“Bruce,” you start off strong and firm. “What could I do? You just told me something so big, so life-changing, and you expected me to stay and sit with you the next morning having a casual breakfast and living our lives like as if nothing happened?”

It seems like Bruce has been rehearsing this moment, as he immediately responds with, “What you did was unthinkable. You left me wondering if anything we had between us was even true. I mean, who goes behind someone's back and do such a thing?”

“Huh, funny how a man who is living a double life is all of a sudden angry about secrets.”

Bruce’s face scrunches up. “Y/N, if you’re still upset about what happened that night-”

“Of course I’m still upset Bruce! After everything I’ve been through with that night, you don’t seem to get it that I’ve always put Batman and Bruce as two separate people; one who I report about and the other man as someone I thought was worthy enough to even meet my family! But after everything, you never called or even asked was I stable enough to be thrown under a bus like that with your news. Did you even think for one second I was suffering enough?”

“But what would happen if I didn’t tell you Y/N? We would still be here having this conversation sooner or later-”

And suddenly, you can’t help but bang your delicate fists on the table. 

“But I just can’t let myself be drawn to someone who could have been the cause of all _this_.”

And then, to visually imply what you mean, you lift off your hoodie. Your arms throb as you put all effort to remove it effortlessly, and after some twist and turns, it eventually comes off.  
Not caring if Bruce gets to see you in your new favourite bra (he did ruin the last one when you two decided to sneak off to have some alone time in one of his cars at his masquerade.), you turn your back to him so he can see the scars that serenade your skin. 

You can feel his breath hitching as he looks at them all. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, he understand the pain that comes with bearing these scars.

These are the scars that keep you awake at night, the immense pain to no salvation. These are the scars that will forever remind you of Bruce being Batman; a mess he created.

Next thing you know, you feel a warm hard hand find his way to your back. His fingers mound themselves as they rub at the red marks ever so carefully as his fingertips electrify your wounds.

You want to tell him to stop, but as you sit with your back turned but you just tell yourself to keep quiet. You allow this to go on as a sentimental piece between you and Bruce and no one else.

Suddenly the hand slips away and you are left debating whether to turn back or what, until you hear Bruce sitting down again and asking gently, “Did you really mean it when you mentioned me meeting your family?”

You push your head down and bite your bottom lip to yourself, still not looking at him. “Of course I did Bruce, but after everything that has happened, I don’t think I can.”

He just exhales and responds with, “Is this about the other thing I did.”

Still keeping your back to him, you reply sourly, “Of course it is Bruce. You thought punching some criminals would solve everything? You have made everything worse. I can’t even look at you the same way.”

Of course, even as you say this, you feel your stomach turning with butterflies like the first time you ever laid eyes on him. How can this man still make you feel this way after everything he has done? 

Even with your back to him, your head spins around with so many thoughts as you wonder if he still thinking about you the same way as before, or is he still hating you for what you did.

However, you can feel the tension has reached it capacity and it explodes to nothing. The debris of the last few moments seep away and quickly the atmosphere evaporates to nothing but uncertain light ease. 

“What I did the other night was unbearable, but I just couldn’t risk losing you like that.”

“But you didn’t lose me Bruce. I just had to get away. I thought you would understand.”

“I thought when I found the right person that they would be there for me no matter what an not desert me in end.”

“Bruce I-”

“Look, I completely understand Y/N. I shouldn’t have waltzed in here and gotten angry.” 

Now you can feel Bruce shifting from his chair and stepping away from the table. He doesn’t say anything as he simply lets his feet stride away further and further from you.

You force yourself to get up and drag your legs until you finally have your hand caught with his.

Pausing, Bruce stops and looks down, uncertain of what to think of your sudden move. He thought you would simply continue sipping your beer and ignoring him while he walked out.

“I can’t end this all like this,” you blurt out, staring up at his soft sapphire eyes. 

And then, that’s when he stays still, allowing the dust particles to spin around the apartment hallway asyo both continue to stare at each other and what you have both become.

He reaches out his right hand and grabs your left index finger. His hand is rough and so warm. He rubs his thumb once across your knuckle and then cocoons your finger in the palm of his hand.

You look down at your hand. The butterflies are restless in your stomach. For a man who has touched you in some many areas, it seems this touch is far too perfect from the rest.

You disentangle your finger so that you can entangle all the others until your palms are pressed against each other.

You both remain still, sliding between certainty and uncertainty and back again

He tugs your hand just slightly as he seems to be asking you a question. You look up.

“Bruce I don’t think we should be doing this.” Your lips crack open as your clear head forces you to part from him.

But just with one move, he refuses to ignore your last remark and with his warm breath, his lips brush soft against yours. 

Suddenly, just when you start to feel something, he pulls away and his lips are cold. But then, just when you feel the urge to do anything he kisses you again. It feels like Bruce is kissing you like he’s afraid to continue and afraid to stop. 

You can’t help but lean in closer and grip the corners of his shirt, intoxicified by his taste of what feel likes rainwater and smooth carmel.

And then, you pull away as your conscious mind begins to work. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, breathless.

“I’m sorry too, for everything.”

The two of you just stand together as your hands touch limply beside each other until Bruce slips away.

That’s when you hear the click of the latch of a closing door. The soft noise is more dangerous than the loudest of slams. The sound of heartbreak follows with a shuddering breath and a skipping heart, each sound so much louder in the overwhelming silence.

* * * * *  
It has been a month after Bruce came to your apartment that night and ever since, you have only been focussing on your work.

Due to your downfall with being in hospital, you have hoped to regain your title of best crime reporter; following every story and handing in an article on time every week even before the due date, you feel you have been getting your stride back, especially since none of the reports you have covered even dared to mention Batman.

You are happy with the wa things are going, just working and spending your evenings with Gail. So far, apart from one or two nights, you have been sleeping well in rough 2-4 hours slots, which is okay for you.You haven’t returned to the therapist as you felt there was no point and you could hardly return after what you did the last time.

So far, everything is going okay. And okay is good for you.

On your lunch breaks, you head up to the small canteen and focus on editing your piece, as work is the only thing that has been keeping you going lately. But today, there is a exception.

Two girls, from the office above you sit at the other side of the canteen,flicking at what seems like far away, a gossip magazine while sipping luscious starbucks beverages. You just stay at the door holding yourself,not sure what to do.

The girls start to look at each other and say, “Did you see the photos? It seems Bruce has a new lady already-”

There is a motion as the other girl snatches the magazine off her and absorbs the photos. She doesn’t seem to keep her voice low as she exclaims,

“Oh my god she is stunning! An absolute true beauty! She must live at the gym twenty four/seven!”

The other girl just shrugs her shoulders and replies, “It says that Bruce attended a banquet with the mysterious woman two weeks ago and a mysterious source captured the two together. There are more explicit photos up on their website, but I gotta say, Y/N did miss out.”

The other girl looks up with disguist written all over her face. “ I know, I mean who the hell dumps a billionaire. God I wonder does Y/N even have any brain cells? The dumb bitch couldn’t see a handsome man if they were all served on a silver platter for her.”

“Tell me about it. One minute she’s gloating about him and having sex with him in the printing room, the next she won't even dare to mention his name.” 

The blonde drops down the magazine and peers over to the other girl before whispering. “Between you and me, I heard that Y/N broke it off with him because she got knocked up and lost the kid in the accident….”

“No way! That’s insane!”

“Well that’s what Breda told me down at reception the other morning. She said Bruce really ended things, he even got aggressive with her.”

“I wonder if she’ll press charges.”

“You wouldn’t know with Y/N. She could do anything to get noticed..”

That’s when you have the courage to step into the room and pretend to grab a quick drink of water.

The two girls stand stunned, unable to even fathom the words to say as you pour yourself a glass of water. 

Pretending to be shocked, you put on a high pitched voice and say, “Oh hi ladies, I hope you love the gossip I’m providing your dim brains with. I do hope it’s entertaining.”

“Oh Y/N we didn’t mean to-”

“Oh it’s okay, I get it. You just had to prod about me behind my back and make up vicious lies to make your boring lives more entertaining.”

They continue to stare stunned at you continue to sip your drink contently. 

“Oh and don’t believe everything you hear ladies, not everything is true, you know.” And you falsely grin, taking another swig of your drink before the two girls decide for their own good that it would be best if they left the room.

You are then left with the magazine that taunts you with its alluring glossy pages.

You dare to step forward and gingerly flick the pages and glimpse at what the girls were gossiping about.

Five long photos are printed side by side of Bruce standing close to a tall tanned woman with a sharp jawline and athletic slim figure and long black hair that flows down her shoulders. 

She wears a long silver off the shoulder piece that trails along the ground while Bruce wears his signature white shirt and black tie. In one photo they both stare into eachother’s eyes as they laugh about something together while the photographers capture each moment. 

The headline reads: _Has Bruce met his dream girl? _  
You gaze your eyes over the small piece written alongside the photos, which says:__

___Multi-millionaire and current heartthrob Bruce Wayne attended the charity banquet for the ‘Save the children’ foundation last week alongside a mysterious woman. Sources have told us the pair were seen holding hands and chatting to other guests throughout the night, while also having secret moments of affection during the late night. It clearly shows that Bruce has finally found his dream woman._ You don’t realise your blurry vision until the dab at your eyes. Tears start to fall and you discreetly wipe them off your cheek with your shirt sleeve, all in the hopes that no one else will notice. __

By now the rumours have ever probably spread around about you and Bruce ending it. Sources could spill various facts and mishaps about your relationship, but no one will ever know what truly happened. Just looking at the photos, Bruce seems to be genuinely happy as he flashes his smile for the cameras. At times when you were with him, you often wondered if he truly was happy or was it all a joke to him, but just looking at him now, you have finally found your answer. Before you can even make it pass the corridor, you start bursting into tears. You start wheezing and you have to stop, clutching your chest as you try to get air into your lungs. You stagger into my bedroom and try and make it to the bathroom to vomit. It doesn't take long for someone to notice you panic state when you wish you could be alone. "Y/N?" 

__

"What happened?" 

__He stands, confused, watching you pace back and forth in small tight circles._ _

__

__“You were right Clark. I should have stayed away from him. I’m now nothing but a number to him, a distant memory while he enjoys his new woman while leaving his mark on her. Why was I so dumb? I shouldn’t have even gone to that stupid Gala? You know I believed he was the one; millionaire or not, there was something about him that made me feel like he only cared about me, but now he is just living his lavish life while I sit here sobbing…”_ _

__Your knees buckle against the wall and you sink to the floor.  
You open your mouth once again but only distant sobs escape._ _

__

__You start rocking yourself against the wall, beating your head in soft thumps to punish yourself._ _

__

__"Hey, hey stop that" Clark says gently, placing a hand at the back of yourhead. He places his other hand hesitantly on your shoulder._ _

__

__"Clark, I-I screwed up' you repeat, your voice strangling._ _

__

__The smell of vomit lingers between the both of you and your whole body can't stop shaking._ _

__

__"Y/N, look at me. You're alright, just...breathe'_ _

__

__I shake my head, your throat sounding sore from how you’re trying to force oxygen down your windpipe.  
Your eyes fill with tears thinking of Bruce after everything you both had to suddenly slip away like that._ _

__

__"I-I screwed up, fuck, I....I can't fix this mess with him. I can't"_ _

__

__Clark swallows, his hand falling to your thigh.  
"Just try and focus on calming down for me okay?" He speaks gently, warmly._ _

__

___"That's it" He says after a few moments, taking your hand and pressing it against his own chest._  
"Just like that"    
You take a long breath in. "In" and you let out slowly "And out. In and out" 

__

__You mimic the action, your breaths calming even though your body doesn't stop shaking_ _

__You notice your little display has caused Clark to look at you with sincere concern; that familiar trait of his that sets you off. But now, it’s the look you need. You need someone to know that you’re struggling and rather drowning as recurring flashes from that night haunt you still to this day._ _

__“Y/N, are you sure you just want to head home?”_ _

__“No,” your ragged voice breaks. It seems after all your rant, your throat is left rather hoarse.  
“Being here helps the thoughts to stay at bay.”_ _

__You didn’t mean for that assumption to slip out, but sadly it does and you instantly regret it._ _

__“I’m sorry.”_ _

__“Don’t be apologising Y/N.” Clark is slow, digesting everything around him before continuing, “So, how long has this been happening?”_ _

__A quick pause as your recount the time since it’s happened. “It’s been three months. I’m okay physically, but the thoughts still seem to come and go.”_ _

__“But they seem to be getting worse lately?”_ _

__You only nod, allowing your head to clear as you rub a hand through your greasy frail hair. Clark bends down to your level and a hand slowly reaches down to yours, and he slowly intertwined his fingers around yours._ _

__“You shouldn’t be dealing with any of this alone Y/N. Everything that has happened could make everyone feel this way. So please don’t shut yourself out. Get help or even open up to someone else.”_ _

__Although his words are refreshing, you can’t help but state the obvious. “Well technically I can’t really go around and tell everyone that Bruce Wayne is Batman.”_ _

__Clark just wearily sighs and then says, “I know you can’t do that, but tell someone about how you never expected Bruce to let you down or how the events of that night have left you shakened…”_ _

__Of course your mask slips and Clark can see straight through._ _

__“Y/N, have you told anyone what exactly happened that night?”_ _

__You struggle to not look at him directly as you try to shuffle away as you sit on the bathroom tiles. “I have, but I don’t think anyone would really get it.”_ _

__Clark doesn't seemed too convinced, but he doesn’t continue to pester on, but just sits down with you with crossed legs._ _

__“You can’t keep acting like this. It’s not healthy to be keeping things to yourself.”_ _

__“I know Clark, but these aren’t the sort of things you’d tell a random stranger.”_ _

__“So you wouldn’t try therapy then?”_ _

__“No.” You lie, not daring to open up now about what happened._ _

__“Oh okay, but then have you told your roommate anything?”_ _

__“I told her about Bruce lying to me, but only mentioned about how he has a son. But she didn’t seem too taken aback by it all.”_ _

__“Oh. I see.”_ _

__You both sit in silence now as you both try to think of what else to say but not upset the other, but in the end Clark does what he does best._ _

__“You know, as a friend, you can open up to me.”_ _

__“It’s okay Clark. I’m fine, really-” and suddenly you step up from the ground and brush off any dust on your skirt. “I just think I need to get to grips with my workload instead of wallowing over Bruce.”_ _

__Of course, your weak smile doesn't really help with things as Clark knows exactly how you feel. You do acknowledge the massive help Clark has been during your time of trouble, but right now, you just want to end this conversation and try to have some sense of normality back in your life._ _

__“Well if you say so.” His smile is so heartwarming and genuine, a feature you seldom saw on Bruce at the best of times._ _

__“But thank you Clark. I mean it. You’re a great friend to have at times like this.”_ _

__Clark smiles, showing off his glorious white teeth. “Of course Y/N. Anything for a friend who needs it.” He then stops and you send that maybe he isn’t being wholehearted. “Well actually Y/N, I came looking for you because Perry has a new lead with a certain case, but now after seeing you like this, I don’t know if you would want to-”_ _

__“I’ll come.” You try to retort strongly, but it falls flat into a mumble. “Just give me a second to clean myself up and I’ll be there.”_ _

__“Are you sure Y/N, I mean, I don’t want to cause more trouble.”_ _

__“Clark, I’m fine. Just give me a second. You go ahead and save me a seat,” you half heartedly smile, already rushing to clean the toilet and removing the tear misted mascara stains on your cheek._ _

__You look at yourself in the mirror. You are gaunt; your face so pale as even wearing your best work office doesn’t help as your skin is drawn taut over the entirety of your body._ _

__You stagger to take one long deep breathe before receiving, “I’m fine. I’m okay. There’s nothing wrong with me.”_ _

__But, just for a single second, you close your eyes and just wish for one second that none of this has ever happened._ _

__If only there was a way to set things right._ _

__* * * * *_ _

__Right now, after urging Clarke that you are infact fine, you decide to attend the next meeting of the next week fixtures as it will be a start for you to start focussing on other things rather than to think about Bruce._ _

__Heading into the table room with a long stride and a clear mind, you carry a brand new journal and your trustworthy pen. Nothing like a good pen to help you while you keep track on what is discussed._ _

__Of course, as soon as you step in, Clark, who at first is in deep conversation with Lois, looks up and holds a small concerned smile for you._ _

__Even though you don’t want to, you sit down beside Clark after he deliberately saved a seat for you and give a small wave to Lois. She reaches forward and squeezes at your hand, “I’m glad to see you back. It will help, you know.”_ _

__Of course, you only smile. You were never that close with Lois, always had time for small chit-chat, but her words mean a lot. Except you do wonder, since of her relationship status with Clark, does she know exactly what happened or is she oblivious? Did Clark even dare to mention what happened just a few minutes ago or did he spare you another concerned look?_ _

__You hope she is not one to observe, but then again, Lois can find out anything, so sooner or later it will eventually come out._ _

__Clark averts his gaze to yours and leans in. “How are you feeling now? Are you sure about this?”_ _

__“I’m fine Clark, really. Like Lois said, this will help to clear my head.” You can only smile but Clark doesn’t but it._ _

__“But I don’t want you to get upset with the case we are dealing with.”_ _

__“What case?” You begin, but he can’t say anything else because Perry enters the room and marks his entrance with, “I think we have something big this week people!”_ _

__Oh course, he always says this, but this time, he has a more devious grin that questions his statement._ _

__Suddenly he sits down and points a finger at Lois._ _

__“Lois, give us an update on the April 29th case.”_ _

__Lois is impeccable as she delivers her report effortlessly, “On April 29th, two gun men raided five banks and left a trailblaze behind them as all vehicles were set on fire in five central locations in Metropolis._ _

__Then, Karen speaks, followed by George, who give accounts on a case of drug raids and inner city drug violence which lend to five masked men beating up fellow citizens in gruesome circumstances, followed by a case where men stole military arms and codes to enter secret bases as part of Wayne Enterprises._ _

__Clark follows with his report. “And just last week, a man robbed in one of Gotham’s top jewellers and took $500,000 worth of jewellery._ _

__It takes a moment of heavy jotting down everything in messy handwriting before you can look back up at Perry._ _

__He continues to smiles coolly and then prompts on, “What if I told you all that these cases were all connected?”_ _

__Of course, everyone lifts their heads and turn towards Perry, before there are interjections._ _

__“That’s impossible. These cases all come from different backgrounds and so far have no link with any other crime-”_ _

__“Lois. Just let me finish.” Perry snaps._ _

__Once again, there is silence in the room until Perry opens a case file and hold out various images from each case._ _

__“Look carefully at each picture and then tell me what you see.”_ _

__You stare, hoping to catch something but the photos are blurred action shots from CCTV cameras and have no detail whatsoever._ _

__“You don’t see it? Well then, let me explain…”_ _

__Then Perry takes out another picture and this time, you spot it straight away._ _

__A clear image of playing cards appears, each one the exact same._ _

__And suddenly, you don’t feel too well._ _

__“This is a joker card. Found at every crime scene with the same message written on the back, ‘I’m coming for you’. Who? We don’t know. But we do know exactly who it is from.”_ _

__The words slip out from Karen first. “You mean, the actual _Joker_?”_ _

__Perry nods. “Yes. The one and only pshycopath Joker.”_ _

__“But what does he has to do with any of this?” Clark pipes up, not at all impressed. “I thought he was in prison.”_ _

__“Arkham Alysum. But, word has it, he has escaped.”_ _

__You can’t help but clutch at the side of your seat so tightly as you feel the blood in your body_ _

__“So the word is, the Joker is back in action, except he has his henchmen on the case while he is living it up in luxury in his club.”_ _

__And suddenly there is a catch. “But we want to know what exactly is he at.”_ _

__“So how do we do this?”_ _

__Perry doesn’t even bat an eyelash as he delivers his next words. “Easy. Go undercover.”_ _

__There are sudden glances and raised eyebrows around the room after hearing this._ _

__Clark is the only one to verbally direct his concern about the idea. “Sir, have you gone mad? No one in their right mind will go-”_ _

__“I’ll do it.”_ _

__Everyone turns to look at you. Some are even shocked to see you actually present at the meeting._ _

__”Y/N? What are you doing?” Clark grits through his teeth._ _

__“I said, I’ll do it. It might as well be something to do to get back in the field.”_ _

__“But Y/N, don’t you think you need more time to recover. I mean, you are just back in the office-” Lois pipes up but is interrupted by Perry._ _

__“Y/N is an excellent candidate for the case. As one of our top reporters, especially in the field of crime, she will be well suited. Besides, this dispatch will need someone who knows what they’re doing.”_ _

__Of course, in the courses you’ve done before, you’ve only done small minor encounters with drug dealers, being simply wired up and just asking for drugs. But this will be an entirely different game._ _

__“Perry, are you actually sure we should do this?”_ _

__“Clark, for the last time, Y/N is perfect and I feel confident. Plus she will be safe-”_ _

__“Safe? Safe with the joker?”_ _

__“That’s enough Clark. Just let the girl do her job. Y/N knows what she’s doing. Plus we will have the cops notified before anything happens and we will have Y/N placed under a false identity.”_ _

__There is a disgruntle noise from Clark before he turns back to you, completely stunned that you could actually let yourself be involved in such a task._ _

__“So Y/N, do you have any questions?”_ _

__Of course you have many. You’re wondering what will your role be while investigating, or what exactly will you have to wear for such a venue. You even wondering if you are exactly up for it- No. You can’t think like that. You need this._ _

__This is the opportunity you need to get over Bruce once and for all and to finally encounter him. You need this more than anything; you need this to start again._ _

__“When do I start preparing?”_ _


End file.
